There used to be this great website called Regetsy that showcased the crazy/ridiculous/disgusting things that some people sell on Etsy. But one of my favorite things were her "This is not Steampunk" posts. It would show items that were labels or tagged as steampunk that were definitely not (Star Trek pasties? Really?) Well, many times nowadays when I look on Pinterest for Whole30 recipes, I just keep thinking to myself "This is not Whole30."
Now, for those who are unfamiliar with Whole30 (hey, look at me thinking that people are reading this!) Here is a link to read about it. Basically it is a really strict form of clean or paleo eating that eliminates sugar, dairy, legumes and a bunch of other things in an attempt to heal your gut, your immune system and your body. In practical terms, this means no bacon for me for 30 days, because finding bacon without dextrose or some other form of sugar is impossible unless you order from US Wellness Meats online and you have to order 7 pounds and no thanks. Have you ever tried to do paleo without bacon? Yeah...it's tough. Heck, any form of sausage, especially breakfast sausage is pretty much out unless you make your own. I picked up some turkey sausage and checked the ingredients and it had Hydrolyzed Soy Protein. That's MSG! Are you kidding me?
In the past, I've had a lot of success with Whole30. I've done two, one in March of 2014 and the other in September 2014. And after the first few days, I felt amazing. I slept well, my mood was great, and best of all, my shin splints, which had bothered me for over five years were gone. It was amazing. But both times, my sugar demon came back to haunt me. So now, I'm back on the Whole30 wagon.
But back to Pinterest. If I look for Whole30 breakfasts, inevitably there will be a slew of baked items. And here's the thing, there are no such things as whole30 pancakes or Whole30 muffins. It doesn't matter that they only have Whole30 approved ingredients, these things are specifically mentioned in the book and on the website as being on the no fly list. They call them SWYPO foods (short for Sex With Your Pants On) because they believe that these foods will just make you crave the real thing. Basically, you are supposed to be learning something while on Whole30 and a Whole30 pancake isn't going to teach you anything. It's just a crutch.
Now, that is not to say that I would ever go to someone blog and post anything that says, "You know that isn't Whole30, right?" because that is just rude. And kind of mean. I mean, that's someone's blog. That's their space. And it's not my place to "educate" someone via comments like that. But it is annoying.
It's funny too because I never got that "Paleo cinnamon rolls are EVIL!" attitude that I have seen so often online. But, now I kind of get it. I'm tired of typing "paleo breakfast" into Pinterest or Google and getting scads of links to paleo donuts and muffins and waffles and pancakes. I guess this is just what happens when something gets popular. Remember when you used to be able to buy things from real people on Ebay? Yeah...good times. But I guess the inevitable progression of the paleo diet's rise in popularity is the inundation of people who are trying to find a way to live the same way they always have, just with a paleo slant. Why are we so afraid to completely change the way we eat? Why is that so scary? I don't have the answer. It's hard. It's scary. It makes people look at you like you are planning to move to a commune and wear a track suit. At least at first. And it's so easy to slip back to what's comfortable. After all, I love eggs and bacon. Mmmm...bacon...
I don't have answers. But I know that paleo pizza isn't going to get me where I need and want to go in life. So, for now, i'm going back to looking at what I eat and asking myself, if this going to have me more or less healthy? If the answer is the former, I'm going to eat it. The latter, at least for now, I'm going to skip. Even dark chocolate coconut milk ice cream. Which is the best thing ever.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go troll Pinterest for a breakfast recipe for tomorrow.
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